Dog-Walker Guy

Walking our dogs on the beach was your idea.

After all….

We lived in the same coastal town.

We both owned dogs.

I attempted to sound enthused with your suggestion; picturing myself gracefully dodging waves, laughing at your jokes, my hair flowing in the ocean breeze… But…

Saturday morning was a blustery one.  I had to forgo lip gloss due to the high winds and should have pulled my hair into a ponytail (but I had that damn vision, as mentioned above).

Lila, (who was clearly more excited about this date than I was) and I arrived at the beach.   You were cute, but your black and white Australian Shepherd, Scout was abso-frekin-lutely  adorable! And every passer-by had to stop and tell you so.  You seemed to eat up the attention as eagerly as Scout.

You pulled a cellophane bag tied with a pink ribbon, out of the pocket of your flannel.  You had brought Lila a bag of cookies.  Well, played dog walker guy.  Well, played.  I must confess, I had never bought her those delectable treats;  which explained her disinterest when you tried to feed her one.  You seemed to take it personally.

We continued our trek through the sand.  Trying to converse between leashes entwining, the howling wind and our dogs stopping every 10 seconds to sniff and pee, made it very difficult to see if there was chemistry.

It was if, we both threw in the white flag simultaneously.  With our tails between our legs we headed our separate ways.

Yes, I live near the beach and I own a dog.  But, I guess I should’ve mentioned I was more of a cat person.

 

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Men Without Kids Vs. Dads

After my six-month relationship ended, I decided to reevaluate  what I wanted in my next one.  K had never been married or had children and at first I found that to be an added bonus to an already amazingly, sweet man.  Little did I know, it would hinder the growth, I wanted in our relationship.  A wise woman once shared this with me: Men without children do not know the depth of love, like those who do have them.  In other words, they do not know how to really put another person’s needs, feelings, wants before their own.  This doesn’t make them bad or selfish people.  Just different.

I met a nice guy a month or so ago.  He was my age, divorced, no children and had a successful career .  He drove up from South Bay one Saturday to take me to dinner.  The conversation flowed , as we sat eating in a brightly lit Thai restaurant.   Though, I didn’t feel that immediate connection, like  I had with others in the past, he was smart, funny and attentive.  In other words, I was open to a second date.  After dinner and a friendly hug goodbye, he asked to see me again.  Agreeing, I sent him back on the 101 and then a few days later, I sent him a thank you card.  I wanted to let him know I appreciated the time and effort he made to treat me like a lady.  It was comforting to see there were still true gentlemen out there, or so I thought….

He asked me out again, but because of our schedules it took some time to set the second date.  With my son out of town the week of Thanksgiving for his football tournament, we made plans for that Friday.  I offered to go to him, obviously, since he had come up here the last time.

When I woke up Friday morning, I was looking forward to our date and getting out of Ventura for the day.  But after breakfast, I received a text from my ex.  He offered to split the cost of a rental car so I could surprise our son in Vegas.  I knew my date would be disappointed, but when I said goodbye to my son on Tuesday,  I had already disappointed him.

I called my date and began apologizing the second he picked up the phone.  His tone of voice, was less than supportive of my sudden change of plans.  I began to explain what had just transpired with my ex,  I felt like I was having to justify(did I mention he was an Attorney?)  my trip to see my son.  Not once did he tell me “no worries” or “I understand”.  I asked if we could reschedule for the following weekend, but he was “booked”.  When I hung up, I genuinely felt bad.  But then images of my son’s smile quickly replaced any guilt I had for canceling a date.

Once I arrived to pick up my rental car, I received a text that went something like this:

Him: You’re probably going to hate me for this, but …That was a really lousy thing to do.  Thank God R wasn’t injured or some other kind of emergency.  He didn’t  need you there.  You decided you would just rather do that than go on our date.  I’m profoundly disappointed.

 

My Reply: My children will always come first.  Thank you (I really, really wanted to add  MUTHAFUCKKAAAA here, but I didn’t).

I never heard from, nor did I contact Mr. Almost Second Date again.  I really couldn’t wrap my head around his way of handling the situation and I suppose he felt the same way about me.  We are not only from different planets (i.e. Venus/Mars), but perhaps different lifetimes.  I feel I am light years ahead of him in this life.  After all, I have carried three lives in my womb, arms and heart for the past 21 years.  So, perhaps it is time to look solely for those who share the same life as me.  The one where we, as parents come second to everything and everyone else when it comes to our children.  And to that I will always say, “no worries!” and “I understand!”.

Stay tuned..

xo

 

Holiday To-Do List

Happy first day of December!  If you are like me, and one of the few people in America, on the Late (Christmas) Train, December 1st is your cue to get your Holiday-Cheer on.

R is nearing double-digits, so I want to incorporate as much Christmas Magic into this season, as I can.  I decided to create a list of some of the things I plan on experiencing with my children and friends in hopes to make it memorable for us all.

1. Try a Vegan Peanut Butter Cookie recipe (perhaps this one).

2. Donate time/toys to a charity – We are wrapping presents for the Castro Family Toy Drive and have set-up a toy collection box at my office.

3. Distribute food – I have an annual tradition with the kids.  We purchase pre-made, hot items (either from the grocery store deli or a fast food chain) and hand out to the homeless on or around Christmas Day.

4. Review ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas  schedule and watch as many of those corny holiday shows as humanly possible.

5. Go see a movie in the theater with all three kids.  Suggestions?

6. Host a night in with the girls and serve ( these and one or two of these).

7. Plan a trip to a neighboring city and view the Christmas lights and decor.

8. Read holiday-themed books at bedtime with R.

9.  Plan a Mommy/Daughter Shopping trip With H at The Village in Woodland Hills.

10. Up my Elf on a Shelf game like my friend, Sarah.  Follow her on IG for some tips!