Navigating Online Dating, Part II

As I mentioned in Part One, online dating can quickly become overwhelming and discouraging.  I am here to share with you what has worked for me.  There are no hard and fast rules, but there are some steps you can take to ease the process; therefore making it more enjoyable.

I was going to start with How to Search for Mr. Right, but more than likely you will have a gazillion messages waiting for you after day one. So, lets get straight to messaging.

1.) Messages from Mr. Wrongs –  I sort through these fairly quickly deleting and/or blocking anyone who has sent something trivial or offensive.  However, if it appears a guy has taken the time to read your profile and write you a nice message, please take the time to thank him with a reply.  An example:  “Thank you so much for your kind words.  However, after reading your profile, I don’t think we would be a match….”

Believe it or not, men can take rejection.  Nine guys out of ten, will be appreciative of your response.  But lets be clear here, there is always Guy Number Ten and more than likely his profile is filled with blurry pictures from the 90’s of him riding a dirt bike, jumping out of a plane, surfing, posing with a large fish, sitting next to a chained up tiger, a few gym pics and last but certainly not least – the shirtless bathroom selfie.  His reply will probably go something like this, “I love music, eat food and breathe air. So why wouldn’t we be a good match?”  Don’t take the time out of your busy day attempting to explain yourself.   There is no point in engaging Action Jackson, his ego or his chest.

2.) Replying to Mr. Might Be Right –  When you receive a message from  someone who piques your interest, take your time and read his profile in depth before replying.  Note things in common and also look for something to mention in your reply that will make him laugh.  When looking at his pictures, keep in mind physical traits that are/aren’t important to you  and make sure those aren’t being “cleverly” hidden (i.e. not showing teeth when smiling, no full body shots).

3.) Moving from the world of Online dating to the real world –  I think it’s a good idea to move fairly quickly to the next step of exchanging numbers.  Texting is a great way to get to know someone, their sense of humor, spelling skills and most importantly their emoji-use. 😉

After a day or two of texting, it’s time to move on to the Phone Date.    Speaking on the phone is very important before agreeing to meet someone.  You can get a better idea of the chemistry between the two of you.  Plus, it can offer a little relief to both parties- I don’t know about you, but if I were a guy and the hot little blond I had been texting the last few days ended up having the phone voice reminiscent of a 60 year old, male chain smoker, I may rethink inviting her for coffee and instead  drag her to a karaoke bar..  But that’s just me…

Which takes us to the next step… “The Initial Meet Up”.  Stay tuned…

 

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