I signed divorce papers today. And once I finished putting pen to paper, I thought I would feel a weight magically lifted. Or some sense of relief. I envisioned putting the pen down, as I rose like a phoenix from the flames and my old life. I would soar towards the next phase.. but none of that happened. Truth is, I feel tired, sad and a little scared. Even though we’ve been separated for a couple of years, the physical act of signing the documents brought a sense of finality to our story. Obviously, ours wasn’t always a fairy tale, but it wasn’t a Shakespearean tragedy either. We fell in love quickly and passionately then combined our families into one boisterous “Brady” bunch. During our ten years together, we six created a lot of exceptional memories. Memories filled with belly-aching laughter, spirited adventures, happy tears and sad and also lots of life lessons.
My ex-husband was a great step-dad to my kids. He treated them as his own and introduced them to experiences, they would not have had otherwise. He is a hard worker and provided a very comfortable life for all of us. We had nice things and were able to travel often. Those ten years were some of the best of my life and I don’t look at them as being “wasted” at all.
With that said, the next chapter has yet to be written. But, it is mine and mine only to write.